Shiho Loved Shikamaru
by Aki-Child
Summary: It is not supposed to end like this. But Shiho didn't regret it, because she loved Shikamaru. One-sided ShikaShiho.


_**Author's Note: **__Hello, everyone. This is Aki. This is not supposed to be like this. This one shot was originally supposed to be an interlude of a story that I was supposed to write years ago. So, yes, this piece of writing has been sitting in my USB for years now and I have finally decided to upload it. I am not sure if I can finish the multi-chapter story that I was __supposed __to write. But if I do, I guess this will be some sort of spoiler, uh? This one shot might be a little bit confusing because, well, this was supposed to be an interlude. But hopefully the whole plot makes sense.  
_

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own the characters._

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**Shiho Loved Shikamaru**

**© Aki-Child**

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"_I have to admit, an unrequited love is so much better than a real one. I mean, it's perfect... As long as something __has never even started, you never have to worry about it ending. It has endless potential.__"  
- _Sarah Dessen, _The Truth About Forever_

Shiho loved Shikamaru.

It was plain obvious to everyone, including Shikamaru himself. He was a genius. Shiho bet he'd already known her feelings before she even confessed. She didn't know how and why it started. But she remembered clearly when and where it happened. It was love at first sight. And heck, she didn't even believe in love at first sight. But whether she believed it or not, it happened.

Whenever a friend asked her to name ten reasons she fell in love with Shikamaru. She couldn't even name one. He wasn't handsome, although in her eyes, he was. He wasn't built, although in her eyes, he was fine. He wasn't smart, although – never mind, he was smart! But it wasn't one of the reasons why she fell in love with him. She didn't know he was a genius until she started working with him, or precisely, until after she fell in love with him. Her friends would laugh at her for falling in love with a guy whom she didn't even know much about. But she didn't mind. She did not need a reason to love him. _Loving someone doesn't need a reason_.

There he was again, standing next to the window and staring into nothing. He was always the kind of person who looked like he was thinking deeply about something. Most of the time, Shiho would just ignore it because he would snap out of it as soon as she started talking to him. But lately, she couldn't ignore this habit of his… mainly because she'd figured out the reason behind him always being deep in thought. He wasn't just thinking about _something_; he was thinking about _her_.

There was this _girl_; there was this _one girl_ whom Shikamaru had branded as very important. Shiho knew this fact a long time ago even though he refused to admit it. Back then, Shiho didn't care whether there was someone, _anyone_, whom Shikamaru liked. She didn't care whether such person existed or not. Because if there was a person whom Shikamaru liked very much, that person must be so _darn_ special and Shiho knew that she wouldn't be able to do anything about it. But lately, Shiho knew that Shikamaru's feeling toward _this specific girl_ changed. This girl became more than just someone whom he cared about. Shikamaru didn't tell Shiho, but she could guess. _Why?_

Because Shiho loved Shikamaru.

Now that the boy she liked had finally fallen in love with someone, Shiho felt heartbroken even at the sight of him. Not because he was in love, but because he was refusing to admit his true feelings. That had made him look so lonely and Shiho hated this side of him.

"Shikamaru-san?"

As usual, with a slight nod, Shikamaru urged her to continue.

Taking a deep breath, Shiho told him, "I love you."

"I know. You told me. I didn't forget."

"No, I didn't."

Shikamaru blinked and finally turned to look at her in the eye.

Working up the courage, Shiho took a big step toward him and started to approach him slowly. Shikamaru didn't back away – he had no reason to. But for Shiho, it was best that he didn't move an inch. She needed to tell him something that she had buried in the depths of her heart. She didn't know if she would still have the courage and determination to tell him if he were to move away.

"Back then, I told you that I like you. I didn't say I love you." Shiho stopped with few inches of space between them, "But right now, I can tell you that I love you because I do. Although you have already rejected me, I still want to get my feelings across to you." She looked up and stared at him. Last time, she sent her feelings across with a love letter. She couldn't even look at him that time because she was shy. She was still feeling shy at this moment but the courage and determination had overshadowed her shyness. She had to tell him, because this might be the last time she allowed herself to be this honest with her feeling, "Shikamaru-san, I love you."

Shikamaru remained still at her confession; Shiho wasn't expecting him to do anything in regard to it. The next series of events happened within seconds but for Shiho, it felt like time had stopped completely just for her and Shikamaru. She closed the distance between them. Her body leaned in close enough to feel the heat and tension radiating from his form, but not close enough to contact. She didn't know where this courage came from. For once, she didn't think about the consequence that might follow; she didn't think about how shameful and embarrassing her action would be when it ended. She didn't care about any of that. She didn't have time to think about any of that.

Shiho stood on tiptoe and kissed him.

Shikamaru was the first to pull away. Of course he would – he didn't love her.

"I am sorry," Shiho didn't know what else to say. Though she felt apologetic toward her action, she didn't regret it. If she were given another chance, she would've done the same. She searched his face for any sign of anger, surprise and discomfort, but she found none. He remained as composed as before as if everything only happened in her imagination.

"It's okay."

Shiho smiled lightly, debating whether she should feel happy or sad toward his indifference. She felt happy that he didn't push her away or become furious at her sudden greed. At the same time, she felt sad that he didn't. If he had backed away immediately, she would've known that her kiss had left an impact. But it didn't. He had stepped back firmly after several seconds as if it was the most natural way to pull away from a girl whom he didn't love. It was… heartbreaking.

"I love you." With that being said, Shiho wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed against him, "I love you, Shikamaru-san." Tears began to roll out of her eyes uncontrollably. She could hear Shikamaru calling out her name in the midst of her sobbing. But it was too late. She understood that no matter how many times he'd said her name or how late he'd stayed in the laboratory with her, he wouldn't fall in love with her. This much she knew, because Shiho loved Shikamaru.

"Shikamaru-san," she sobbed out the words. "Do you love _her_?"

Shikamaru hesitated but managed an answer, "I don't know who you are talking about."

"The first person who comes to your mind," Shiho's voice softened, "You know perfectly whom I am talking about."

When Shikamaru fell speechless, she continued, "I love you. I love you so much that it hurts to see you like this. At first, I thought I would feel relieved to know that your feelings for her will never get across. I thought I would feel happy to know that you will never confess to her because you'd never want her to know. But as time passes, I started not being able to stand looking at you like this. The loneliness that emits from you is unbearable for me to watch." Shiho paused for a brief moment, "Shikamaru-san, if you love her, tell her. If you don't, stop looking at her."

The pair stood quietly and allowed silence to engulf them. Shiho still had her arms around him while his were hanging by his sides. Time ticked by but she was still holding on. She wanted to enjoy the last bit of comfort and warmth Shikamaru was willing to offer. There might not be another chance, but she couldn't resist and interrupted the silence softly, "So?"

What happened next surprised Shiho. For a moment, she felt like her whole world stopped spinning. Shikamaru raised and wrapped his arms around her. His arms were wrapped firmly around her shoulders. It was the very first time that Shikamaru had reciprocated any physical contact with her. In the back of her mind, she wanted to squeal but she couldn't, because she knew this would be the first _and_ last time. Instead, tears like bits of glass started to form in her eyes again as she waited for his answer.

"I love her." His voice was on the verge of cracking, "I love her very much."

That was all she needed to hear. Shiho knew everything would end this way but she didn't regret it.

Because Shiho loved Shikamaru.

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_A/N: I hope everyone has enjoyed reading this piece on Shiho's one-sided love for Shikamaru. The urge to kiss someone... I have also experienced it though my conscious won against my subconscious in the end, unlike Shiho's case. But please, do not hate Shiho. She is just a girl who loves Shikamaru very much. Thanks for reading. Reviews will be , by the way, if you have been following my other stories, the '**her**' in this should be pretty obvious, right? _


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